The BIG 4-0!!!

It's finally arrived. The BIG one. I can't believe that I am 4 decades old. This b-day is a time for celebration. Not a big celebration. Tonight my family is going to go out and eat, my brother-in-law is going to take care of my children for the weekend so Doug can go hunting and my sister has planned a scrap booking getaway for me, my mom, herself and some of my friends. Just what I wanted to do for my birthday. I can't think of a better way to spend it.

Turning 40 is also a time for reflection for me. It has brought me to a point in my life that I feel good about things.  In my 20's I thought I knew everything and I found out I knew nothing. I wanted to party and be FREE. In my 30's I still thought I knew everything and I had a mid-life crisis. Now at 40 I KNOW that I still don't know everything and I am o-kay with that.

Here is who I am:  I am a mother of 4 a miscarriage of 1.I am 40 and still changing diapers. I am addicted to Mt. Dew and cigarettes. I am a wife to an amazing person, a sister with one other sibling, a daughter of two fine parents, a friend of many, an auntie to 3 amazing kids. I have been divorced twice. I live for chaos, I don't like lazy, I despise people that are fake, I have gained 50 lbs., I am always trying to chase a dream, I am not better that anyone else, I crave peace and quiet, I believe everything happens for a reason, I know that when you surround yourself with positive people and positive things, good will come to you. I am a helper, a giver, a follower and a leader. I am a do-er and so much more. I have been down and out in my life, I have sucked up my pride and used a food shelf, and been on food stamps.

I believe in true love. I know this because he came back to me.

I have been peed on, pooped on, puked on and sometimes just plain shit on. I have loved a lot and have been loved. I have had some completely awful relationships. I have been loved by hands that have turned around and hurt me.

I have wonderful memories from high school and just like everyone else I was picked on. I still have friends from high school. I use to try and hang on to all of them but I now know that sometimes that is not possible. People grow and people change and sometimes it is impossible to do. They all shaped me, have given me wonderful memories, have been there for me when I least expect it, have made me cry and made me laugh. I know that because we don't talk everyday or I don't believe in their ideas or agree with what they have decided to become does not mean that I do not appreciate them or think of them often.

I have had a parent with cancer and have watched 3 of my close friends lose their mothers and father to the horrible disease. Which makes me appreciate life and my parents even more.

I believe that forgiveness is a powerful thing. I know this because I have been forgiven by many and I have learned to forgive myself.

I believe in spirits, and life after you pass. I know this because when I am having rough times and can't seem to wrap myself around them I will see my grandma. A cardinal always shows up when I least expect it.

I believe you need to try new things, not be afraid, take a chance and just go for it. You might fail but that is o-kay. Who cares what others think of you. This has been the hardest lesson for me to learn.

I know that besides my children there is one person I could not live without and that is my sister. She is truly my best friend. She will tell me when I am stupid, when she is proud, when I need to shut up everything a sister should be.

I believe that every single person on this earth needs to have at least one person to believe in them.

I believe you should continue to give--give anyway you can. You never know when you will need help.

I believe in karma. You know what they say--it's a bitch-baby

After writing this I realized that 40 is not going to be bad at all. I am not so much that tough girl I use to be. I can still hold my own, I won't agree with people "just because". I will stand up for what I believe in and I don't care what others think. It doesn't matter that I don't wear a size 9 jean anymore!!

Learning life lessons is a great reason to celebrate!!

Donations of time

Wowee!! I can't believe that I last posted back in September. I NEED to and WANT to get MUCH better at that.

Well here is some of the reasons why it has taken me so long. I have always had a real desire to be a helper. To help those that need it, to help people see that others need our help. I have always wanted to be part of something bigger. To get to that person that I want to become I have started donating. Not just donating things but donating my time.

First I joined our local PTA at our schools. This has consumed (in a good way) a huge amount of my time. But you know what? It is totally worth it. The reponse we have received is tremendous. What better gratification-knowing you are helping out to make things better. When we started the PTA we did a back to school clothing drive. We had a TON of clothes that we collected and set up FREE of charge for anyone in our community to come and take whatever they needed.

We then put on a huge Halloween bash for the local kids and their families. With great success we partied with over 350 children. Donating time here consisted of baking, setting up, shopping, decorating and greeting people at the party.

In November we put on a 12 hour scrapbooking day. We had almost 40 ladies attend and requesting that we do it again in January.

In December we are holding our 1st annual Expo/Vendor Fair. There will be over 40 vendors.

Has it all been easy? NO. There has been frustrations along the way, things have been forgotten, people have made mistakes. But in the end-so far-it has all been worth every minute of my time. I have come to meet some extremely great women, have bumped up my business skills and just plain feel good about myself.

Secondly I have been donating goods. Anything we no longer need or is functional for my family is going to go and help others that need it. Our town is sponsoring a Secret Osceola Santa (S.O.S). This is benefiting any families in need in our community. I have been dropping stuff off for them to hold a garage sale to raise money for their cause. Anyway to help out!

One of my biggest pet peeves are people who say they don't have time. Really? You don't have time for what? What is interfering? I know we are all busy--but if you stop for a second and look around-really look around you just might notice someone that could use your help.

So this Holiday Season get out and donate some of your time. What are you waiting for?

This year I might even stand out and ring a bell!!